[Taken from Simple Dollar]
When I get up in the morning, I know that I should exercise, but I often really don’t want to do it. I usually have a checklist of other things I need to do, so I’ll use that as an excuse. Some days, I’ll find some minor physical reason not to do it (“I have a tiny blister on my toe” or “I think I have a cold coming on” or “My knee hurts”). Other days, I’ll not even think about it. The easiest path often seems to be the one that doesn’t involve exercise.
Resistance.
When I was trying to get my financial life in order, my entire social network was full of cues to spend money. The television programs I watched depicted affluent and interesting people who just happened to have things that were compelling to me in some way. I felt like my family expected me to buy nice gifts and treat them to meals when they came to visit. The easiest path seemed to be the one that involved spending more money.
Resistance.
When I’m trying to adopt any life change, there are always a lot of reasons not to do it. Usually, it’s much easier to just keep doing things the way I’m doing things. It’s comfortable. I understand it. I know it’s not going to hurt to stick with the status quo, at least not in the short term. My family hints that this change might not be the best idea.
Resistance.
Our enemy is resistance, and we shall defeat it.
Here are our weapons in this battle.
Forge a new path of least resistance. Fighting to overcome the munchies? Toss all of the unhealthy munchies out of your home (take them to a food pantry, for example). That way, the easiest path to getting your snack fix involves eating something healthy. Fighting to exercise more? Reserve a parking spot as far from your workplace as possible, or put your jogging shoes right in front of your door so that you have to actively move them to avoid them.
Use some motivation. Why are you really making this change? Hold that motivator front and center. For a long time, I kept my credit cards wrapped in a photograph of my children. I’ve started using a picture of me at my heaviest (although that’s about fifty pounds heavier than I am now) in several places to encourage exercise.
Make simple milestones. There’s a reason so many of my friends have found success with the “Couch to 5k” running program. It sets up simple little milestones that can easily be achieved, but they’re still enough to fill you with accomplishment each step of the way. If you’re working towards something new, set up little milestones for yourself.
Track your progress – but not too much. Tracking your financial situation too frequently will give you a false sense of failing because of the short-term impact of bills and the like. Similarly, tracking your weight too frequently will give you a false sense of failure because of short-term weight fluctuations. Check it once a month and be proud of what you’ve achieved. Make that checking day important – mark it on your calendar and give it some psychological weight, so that you’re looking forward to it throughout the month.
Use social pressure. Find someone to share in your goal, either face-to-face or on the internet. Share your progress extensively and cheer the successes of the others involved in the goal. A community of people all striving toward the same individual goals can be a very powerful method for minimizing resistance to change.
These are your tools. Use them wisely.
Friday, August 31, 2012
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Description of Paradise
A section of Ibn Al-Qayyim’s introduction to his work on the description of paradise called “Haadi Al-Arwaah ilaa bilaad Al-Afrah”
“And when those of certainty came to know what they were created for and for what purpose they came into existence they raised their heads high. When they knew that paradise was elevated for them they rolled up their sleeves for it. And that the straight path was made clear to them so they were firm as they traversed upon it. And they saw that the greatest inequity is to sell that which no eye has seen, no ear has heard, and has not been conjured up by the imagination of any soul in an eternity that never ends for a temporal life, rather something only like a false dream, or a vision that visits during sleep, corrupted by disturbances, paired with torments. If it brings some laughter it brings much weeping, and if it causes happiness one day it causes sadness for months. Its pains are greater than its pleasures and its sorrows are many folds greater than its happiness. The first of it is fear and the last of it is ruin.
What amazement at a fool in the shape of a wise person, and an imbecile in the clothes of a person of intellect, who preferred a portion that is perishable and lousy, over a portion that is eternal, and sold a paradise that is equal to the heavens and the earth for an earth that is a constricted prison shared amongst a people afflicted by impairments and calamities. And (sold) goodly homes in gardens of Eden under which rivers flow, for a camel stable- constricted and ends with ruin. And (sold) loving virgins, equal in age, as if they are like rubies and coral (in beauty), for foul, lowly women who would take a boyfriend or commit adultery. And Hoor with restricted gaze awaiting in tents, for filthy ones who would curse amongst the people. And (sold) rivers of wine a pure pleasure for those who drink, for an impure drink that does away with the mind and corrupts one’s wordly and religious life. And (sold) the pleasure of gazing at the Face of the All-Great and the Most Merciful, for the pleasure of glancing at hideous lowly faces. And (sold) the experience of listening to the address of Al-Rahman, for the experience of listening to music and singers. And (sold) the reclining on thrones of pearls, rubies and chrysolite on the Day of Increase for the reclining on gatherings of transgression with every wandering devil. And (sold) the calling of the caller “Oh people of paradise: For you here is everlasting bliss and no despair, and everlasting life and no death, and everlasting residence and no relocation, and everlasting youth and no aging” for the songs of singers...
It is paradise...so how amazing is it then, how could the one seeking it sleep? And how could the one courting it not accept its dowry? And how could one be pleased with living in this (earthly) abode after hearing its description? And how has the one who desires it been able to live without embracing its virgins? And how could the eyes of those who desire it glance away from it? And how could those who were certain of it be patient at not entering it? And how could the hearts of the majority of mankind be unconcerned with it? And with what did the souls of those who turned away replace it?
“And when those of certainty came to know what they were created for and for what purpose they came into existence they raised their heads high. When they knew that paradise was elevated for them they rolled up their sleeves for it. And that the straight path was made clear to them so they were firm as they traversed upon it. And they saw that the greatest inequity is to sell that which no eye has seen, no ear has heard, and has not been conjured up by the imagination of any soul in an eternity that never ends for a temporal life, rather something only like a false dream, or a vision that visits during sleep, corrupted by disturbances, paired with torments. If it brings some laughter it brings much weeping, and if it causes happiness one day it causes sadness for months. Its pains are greater than its pleasures and its sorrows are many folds greater than its happiness. The first of it is fear and the last of it is ruin.
What amazement at a fool in the shape of a wise person, and an imbecile in the clothes of a person of intellect, who preferred a portion that is perishable and lousy, over a portion that is eternal, and sold a paradise that is equal to the heavens and the earth for an earth that is a constricted prison shared amongst a people afflicted by impairments and calamities. And (sold) goodly homes in gardens of Eden under which rivers flow, for a camel stable- constricted and ends with ruin. And (sold) loving virgins, equal in age, as if they are like rubies and coral (in beauty), for foul, lowly women who would take a boyfriend or commit adultery. And Hoor with restricted gaze awaiting in tents, for filthy ones who would curse amongst the people. And (sold) rivers of wine a pure pleasure for those who drink, for an impure drink that does away with the mind and corrupts one’s wordly and religious life. And (sold) the pleasure of gazing at the Face of the All-Great and the Most Merciful, for the pleasure of glancing at hideous lowly faces. And (sold) the experience of listening to the address of Al-Rahman, for the experience of listening to music and singers. And (sold) the reclining on thrones of pearls, rubies and chrysolite on the Day of Increase for the reclining on gatherings of transgression with every wandering devil. And (sold) the calling of the caller “Oh people of paradise: For you here is everlasting bliss and no despair, and everlasting life and no death, and everlasting residence and no relocation, and everlasting youth and no aging” for the songs of singers...
It is paradise...so how amazing is it then, how could the one seeking it sleep? And how could the one courting it not accept its dowry? And how could one be pleased with living in this (earthly) abode after hearing its description? And how has the one who desires it been able to live without embracing its virgins? And how could the eyes of those who desire it glance away from it? And how could those who were certain of it be patient at not entering it? And how could the hearts of the majority of mankind be unconcerned with it? And with what did the souls of those who turned away replace it?
Monday, August 27, 2012
The Eyes of a Child
[Taken from Simple Dollar]
My youngest child has these deep blue eyes. If you tell him something that attracts his attention, he’ll stop and look at you with those piercing blue eyes for a moment, as though he’s trying to make up his mind whether or not you’re telling him something of real value.
Every day, his eyes are on me. Along with his two older siblings and his mother, I’m one of the people that he’s constantly using as a role model for figuring out the world.
If he sees me enjoying tomatoes, he’s willing to give them a try.
If he sees me brushing my teeth, he’ll head to the other bathroom to retrieve his own toothbrush.
If he sees me shaving, he’s ready to slap some shaving cream on his cheeks.
His idea of good behavior is coming, in large part, from me.
John Wooden, the great UCLA basketball coach and one of my personal heroes, once said, “Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”
It can be easy for me to try to behave well when my little blue-eyed boy is around. I can try to act like a good role model when he’s around. I can think more deliberately about my action when he’s watching me.
Children are too smart for that, though. They see the character behind the curtain. I certainly remember realizing that there were people who would do one thing when eyes were on them and then do another when no one else was around, and I was smart enough to know that the things they did when no one was around was the true reflection of who they were.
It’s not enough to behave well when my child is watching. I must have the character from which good behavior comes naturally.
For example, the best way to show my child that you can have a lot of fun at home with whatever you have on hand is to have a lot of fun at home with whatever you have on hand.
If I want my child to see that adults read books and discuss ideas, the best way to do that is to normally read books and discuss ideas as part of my life.
If I want my child to see that life doesn’t revolve around spending money and you don’t have to throw out cash in order to enjoy life, the best way to do that is to live a life where that’s the normal course of events and not a special “money free weekend.”
If it’s an act, it doesn’t work.
Few things are harder than working on who you are and striving to improve it. People are creatures of habit and impulse. It is extremely difficult to change those fundamental things.
In some ways, I’m lucky. When I want to push myself to change things about who I am, I simply have to think about those big blue eyes that are watching me all the time. That’s a pretty strong motivator.
Couple that motivation with a strong sense of what better choices are and soon I’ll end up changing who I am. Those better choices come naturally if they’re repeated enough.
The things we want to change seem very hard at times. Through the eyes of a child, though, they’re not difficult at all. If you work on just changing who you are a little bit, you no longer have to face the difficult decision to not spend money or to not smoke or to not curse over and over again throughout the day.
In the eyes of a child, character trumps everything else. Work on your character and your habits follow.
My youngest child has these deep blue eyes. If you tell him something that attracts his attention, he’ll stop and look at you with those piercing blue eyes for a moment, as though he’s trying to make up his mind whether or not you’re telling him something of real value.
Every day, his eyes are on me. Along with his two older siblings and his mother, I’m one of the people that he’s constantly using as a role model for figuring out the world.
If he sees me enjoying tomatoes, he’s willing to give them a try.
If he sees me brushing my teeth, he’ll head to the other bathroom to retrieve his own toothbrush.
If he sees me shaving, he’s ready to slap some shaving cream on his cheeks.
His idea of good behavior is coming, in large part, from me.
John Wooden, the great UCLA basketball coach and one of my personal heroes, once said, “Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”
It can be easy for me to try to behave well when my little blue-eyed boy is around. I can try to act like a good role model when he’s around. I can think more deliberately about my action when he’s watching me.
Children are too smart for that, though. They see the character behind the curtain. I certainly remember realizing that there were people who would do one thing when eyes were on them and then do another when no one else was around, and I was smart enough to know that the things they did when no one was around was the true reflection of who they were.
It’s not enough to behave well when my child is watching. I must have the character from which good behavior comes naturally.
For example, the best way to show my child that you can have a lot of fun at home with whatever you have on hand is to have a lot of fun at home with whatever you have on hand.
If I want my child to see that adults read books and discuss ideas, the best way to do that is to normally read books and discuss ideas as part of my life.
If I want my child to see that life doesn’t revolve around spending money and you don’t have to throw out cash in order to enjoy life, the best way to do that is to live a life where that’s the normal course of events and not a special “money free weekend.”
If it’s an act, it doesn’t work.
Few things are harder than working on who you are and striving to improve it. People are creatures of habit and impulse. It is extremely difficult to change those fundamental things.
In some ways, I’m lucky. When I want to push myself to change things about who I am, I simply have to think about those big blue eyes that are watching me all the time. That’s a pretty strong motivator.
Couple that motivation with a strong sense of what better choices are and soon I’ll end up changing who I am. Those better choices come naturally if they’re repeated enough.
The things we want to change seem very hard at times. Through the eyes of a child, though, they’re not difficult at all. If you work on just changing who you are a little bit, you no longer have to face the difficult decision to not spend money or to not smoke or to not curse over and over again throughout the day.
In the eyes of a child, character trumps everything else. Work on your character and your habits follow.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Pride
[Taken from the Simple Dollar]
Posted: 17 Aug 2012 07:00 AM PDT
We all want to have a life that we can be proud of.
We want a life that we’re happy to show to others. We want relationships where we feel like equals with the other person. We want a life full of memories and activities that accurately reflect the values we hold dear.
Quite often, that pride can drive us to great things. It can push us to work harder. It can push us to build more rewarding relationships. It can push us to commit more strongly to our core values.
The challenge comes when that pride is channeled in the wrong direction. It can push us to spend our time and money in incredibly foolish ways.
Once upon a time, my pride nearly drove me to financial ruin.
I tried incredibly hard to keep up with the people in my life and I did so by buying things and going out for expensive evenings almost constantly. I’d think nothing of dropping $50 on the latest video game or $40 for a trip to the movies mostly so I could talk about them in my social circle.
Instead of chasing long-term meaningful relationships, I chased the short-term rush of being envied (or at least accepted) by acquaintances. I was pretty proud of being the guy who knew all about the latest movies or always knew about the latest gadgets. I took pride in that and chased it.
Being that guy merely left me without money and without a lot of long-term valuable relationships. I could feel good in the short term about what I had, but whenever I thought about the long term, I didn’t have such happy feelings. I couldn’t picture a lot of the people in my life at the time still being in my life in twenty years. I certainly couldn’t see a clear financial path from my situation to where I wanted to be in twenty years.
I was proud of the short-term social position I held, but I gradually began to grow very distraught about the long-term implications of that position.
Eventually, I had to re-evaluate my sources of pride. More specifically, I began to seek out long-term sources of pride.
What’s the difference? If you own the latest phone, you can be proud of that and make your friends envious for a short while, but it’s not going to be long before someone else has a better one.
On the other hand, if you have a beautiful home that’s paid for, you’re going to be able to be proud of that for a very long time. It’s a symbol of financial security and stability.
If you have a shiny new car, it won’t be shiny and new within a few years. If your pride is based on having a shiny new car, then you’re going to have to replace it regularly at a pretty high expense.
If you’re proud of having a reliable car instead, you can be proud of that for many years. Take pride on having a car that’s ran well for 200,000 miles instead of a car that’s got a recent model year.
You can be proud of having a contact list full of acquaintances, but those acquaintances will slip away like grains of sand. On the other hand, you can be proud of having a smaller group of lifetime friends that will be there for you through thick and thin.
In almost every case, being proud of something that will last for a long time will serve you much better than having pride in something that is fleeting.
A long-term friend is not one that you have to continually impress. A car with reliability is not one you’re going to have to get replaced very frequently. A home that is paid for is not draining your wallet via interest.
What are the long-term things in your life that you are most proud of? What are the things that you draw pride from that are more transient? How can you replace those transient things?
Posted: 17 Aug 2012 07:00 AM PDT
We all want to have a life that we can be proud of.
We want a life that we’re happy to show to others. We want relationships where we feel like equals with the other person. We want a life full of memories and activities that accurately reflect the values we hold dear.
Quite often, that pride can drive us to great things. It can push us to work harder. It can push us to build more rewarding relationships. It can push us to commit more strongly to our core values.
The challenge comes when that pride is channeled in the wrong direction. It can push us to spend our time and money in incredibly foolish ways.
Once upon a time, my pride nearly drove me to financial ruin.
I tried incredibly hard to keep up with the people in my life and I did so by buying things and going out for expensive evenings almost constantly. I’d think nothing of dropping $50 on the latest video game or $40 for a trip to the movies mostly so I could talk about them in my social circle.
Instead of chasing long-term meaningful relationships, I chased the short-term rush of being envied (or at least accepted) by acquaintances. I was pretty proud of being the guy who knew all about the latest movies or always knew about the latest gadgets. I took pride in that and chased it.
Being that guy merely left me without money and without a lot of long-term valuable relationships. I could feel good in the short term about what I had, but whenever I thought about the long term, I didn’t have such happy feelings. I couldn’t picture a lot of the people in my life at the time still being in my life in twenty years. I certainly couldn’t see a clear financial path from my situation to where I wanted to be in twenty years.
I was proud of the short-term social position I held, but I gradually began to grow very distraught about the long-term implications of that position.
Eventually, I had to re-evaluate my sources of pride. More specifically, I began to seek out long-term sources of pride.
What’s the difference? If you own the latest phone, you can be proud of that and make your friends envious for a short while, but it’s not going to be long before someone else has a better one.
On the other hand, if you have a beautiful home that’s paid for, you’re going to be able to be proud of that for a very long time. It’s a symbol of financial security and stability.
If you have a shiny new car, it won’t be shiny and new within a few years. If your pride is based on having a shiny new car, then you’re going to have to replace it regularly at a pretty high expense.
If you’re proud of having a reliable car instead, you can be proud of that for many years. Take pride on having a car that’s ran well for 200,000 miles instead of a car that’s got a recent model year.
You can be proud of having a contact list full of acquaintances, but those acquaintances will slip away like grains of sand. On the other hand, you can be proud of having a smaller group of lifetime friends that will be there for you through thick and thin.
In almost every case, being proud of something that will last for a long time will serve you much better than having pride in something that is fleeting.
A long-term friend is not one that you have to continually impress. A car with reliability is not one you’re going to have to get replaced very frequently. A home that is paid for is not draining your wallet via interest.
What are the long-term things in your life that you are most proud of? What are the things that you draw pride from that are more transient? How can you replace those transient things?
An Intentional Life
[Copied from http://zenhabits.net/intentional/]
Post written by Leo Babauta.
Many of us go through our days awake, but following patterns we’ve developed over the years. We are going through the motions, doing things at home, online, at work without much forethought.
Contrast this with the idea of an Intentional Life: everything you do is done with consciousness, fulfilling one of your core values (compassion, for example). Everything is done with a conscious intent.
It’s true that many things we do have some kind of intent — I’m washing the dishes because I don’t want a messy house or bugs in my kitchen; I’m driving to work because I need to make a living; I’m driving my kids to school because they need to learn. But after repeating these actions every day, the intent kind of fades into the background so that we are barely aware of them. We’ve figured out the intent long ago, and don’t need to think about them anymore.
What if that changed?
What if you were very aware of your intention for your actions? How would that transform the action, and your life?
What if you washed the dishes, but first said you are doing this as a service to your family, to make them happy, and as a form of meditation for yourself, to practice mindfulness? Doing the dishes would suddenly take on much more importance, and would cease to be boring.
The only difference is intention.
What if driving to work was done after mentally declaring an intention to help others at work, to make people happy, to find satisfaction through work? The drive might be much happier, and you might be less likely to get irate when someone inevitably cuts you off in traffic.
This is the Intentional Life.
I practice it in bits and pieces — not all the time, but increasingly. When I do it, my life is different. More purposeful, more consciously lived, more content with any action.
A simple practice of intentionality: before you do the next action online or at work, pause a moment, close your eyes, and mentally say your intention. Why are you doing this? Is it out of compassion for others, or yourself? Is it to make someone happier? To improve the world? Out of gratitude for the work and kindness of others?
And then, as you do the action, be mindful of your intention.
This is a small step, but in those few moments, you will be living an Intentional Life.
Post written by Leo Babauta.
Many of us go through our days awake, but following patterns we’ve developed over the years. We are going through the motions, doing things at home, online, at work without much forethought.
Contrast this with the idea of an Intentional Life: everything you do is done with consciousness, fulfilling one of your core values (compassion, for example). Everything is done with a conscious intent.
It’s true that many things we do have some kind of intent — I’m washing the dishes because I don’t want a messy house or bugs in my kitchen; I’m driving to work because I need to make a living; I’m driving my kids to school because they need to learn. But after repeating these actions every day, the intent kind of fades into the background so that we are barely aware of them. We’ve figured out the intent long ago, and don’t need to think about them anymore.
What if that changed?
What if you were very aware of your intention for your actions? How would that transform the action, and your life?
What if you washed the dishes, but first said you are doing this as a service to your family, to make them happy, and as a form of meditation for yourself, to practice mindfulness? Doing the dishes would suddenly take on much more importance, and would cease to be boring.
The only difference is intention.
What if driving to work was done after mentally declaring an intention to help others at work, to make people happy, to find satisfaction through work? The drive might be much happier, and you might be less likely to get irate when someone inevitably cuts you off in traffic.
This is the Intentional Life.
I practice it in bits and pieces — not all the time, but increasingly. When I do it, my life is different. More purposeful, more consciously lived, more content with any action.
A simple practice of intentionality: before you do the next action online or at work, pause a moment, close your eyes, and mentally say your intention. Why are you doing this? Is it out of compassion for others, or yourself? Is it to make someone happier? To improve the world? Out of gratitude for the work and kindness of others?
And then, as you do the action, be mindful of your intention.
This is a small step, but in those few moments, you will be living an Intentional Life.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
5 big benefits of asking for help
By Unstuck | August 13, 2012
Have you ever noticed that some of the most capable people we know don’t seem capable of asking for help? And maybe, just maybe, one of them is you? In Unstuck speak, we call this acting like a Lone Leader.
To get unstuck, it takes a shift in how you think so you can change how you act. Lone Leaders tend to think that needing help makes them vulnerable in some way. The risk of tarnishing their (self) image blocks the path that can be receptive to assistance.
To begin revising thoughts from help=bad to help=better, consider these amazing rewards of letting someone else into your struggle.
1. Relationship building. Just imagine the smart, connected people you could meet if you put out the call for help. Or, if the assistance comes from someone you know, your bond will get stronger, more familiar, more relaxed and satisfying.
2. Happiness giving. Plainly put, people like to help. They find it gratifying that they can make someone else’s life easier. When you give them that chance, you are making at least two people’s worlds a little brighter.
3. Competence shining. Akin to making someone happy, allowing a person to help you lets them tap into their superpower, be a hero, and enjoy a sense of purpose. That makes the act of accepting help one of generosity, not neediness.
4. Health bringing. With help comes relief, and relief goes a long way in stamping out energy-sapping stress and negativity. In short, you’ll feel, think, and act better.
5. Productivity driving. Help, of course, will let you be more efficient, successful, creative, useful—all the things that you crave in your stuck moment.
When you’re ready for help, Unstuck’s “Call in the Cavalry” tool will let you zero in on exactly who and what you need. Then polish your requesting skills with “The art of asking for help.”
Have you ever noticed that some of the most capable people we know don’t seem capable of asking for help? And maybe, just maybe, one of them is you? In Unstuck speak, we call this acting like a Lone Leader.
To get unstuck, it takes a shift in how you think so you can change how you act. Lone Leaders tend to think that needing help makes them vulnerable in some way. The risk of tarnishing their (self) image blocks the path that can be receptive to assistance.
To begin revising thoughts from help=bad to help=better, consider these amazing rewards of letting someone else into your struggle.
1. Relationship building. Just imagine the smart, connected people you could meet if you put out the call for help. Or, if the assistance comes from someone you know, your bond will get stronger, more familiar, more relaxed and satisfying.
2. Happiness giving. Plainly put, people like to help. They find it gratifying that they can make someone else’s life easier. When you give them that chance, you are making at least two people’s worlds a little brighter.
3. Competence shining. Akin to making someone happy, allowing a person to help you lets them tap into their superpower, be a hero, and enjoy a sense of purpose. That makes the act of accepting help one of generosity, not neediness.
4. Health bringing. With help comes relief, and relief goes a long way in stamping out energy-sapping stress and negativity. In short, you’ll feel, think, and act better.
5. Productivity driving. Help, of course, will let you be more efficient, successful, creative, useful—all the things that you crave in your stuck moment.
When you’re ready for help, Unstuck’s “Call in the Cavalry” tool will let you zero in on exactly who and what you need. Then polish your requesting skills with “The art of asking for help.”
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Fear of God in Kids
Fear of God in Kids by Imam Zaid Shakir
Published: May 22, 2006
When we talk about Islamic education and our children, the discussion usually revolves around strictly academic issues related to technical aspects of curriculum development, testing standards and methodologies, balancing between secular and religious education, and similar concerns. Sometimes we miss the greater objective of an Islamic education. That objective, in terms of what is necessary for the immediate success of our children in this world, and their ultimate success in the next, is nurturing balanced, wholesome, honest human beings who live lives based on principle and who exemplify good character in their dealings with other people.
The basis for the obtainment of this objective is captured in the following prophetic tradition, "Be mindful of God wherever you are, and follow up any misdeed you might do with a good deed that will wipe it out (being weightier in the scale). And deal with people on the basis of good character."[1] I will endeavor to expound on some of the relevant lessons from this tradition in the balance of this article.
This tradition mentions three very important things that should be fundamental to our educational endeavor. The first is endeavoring to instill a healthy fear of God in the child. Part of that endeavor lies in imparting to our children some of the aspects of what Americans refer to as "that old-time religion." Many aspects of what actually constitutes that old-time religion are sometimes viewed as prudish or unfashionable in today's society. However, they involve religious themes that have been instrumental in guiding people for millennia.
One of the bases of "that old-time religion" is a healthy fear of God. That fear, which has to be balanced by hope for God's mercy, revolves around the awareness that God's punishment is real. Hell and its torments are real. The retribution of those who have behaved wrongfully in the world is real. Sometimes we can become so engrossed with intellectualized discussions of our religion, so steeped in philosophical discourse, that we forget, at the end of the day, the hard realities mentioned above. If as adults we are heedless concerning these things, it is difficult for us to realize their importance for our children, especially during their formative years.
Cultivating a healthy fear of God is rooted in mindfulness of Him.
Mindfulness is a prerequisite for fear. For this reason, one of the initial goals of the spiritual path is cultivating fear of God. This is the initial thrust that propels the aspirant through subsequent stages of true human development. As one wise man once mentioned, "The fountainhead of all wisdom is the fear of God." It is mentioned in the Qur'an, Rather it is His righteous servants who fear God. {Al-Qur'an 35:28] This fear is one of the keys to Paradise. God says, As for one who fears the station of his Lord, and guards his soul against the things it inclines towards, Paradise will be his refuge. [Al-Qur'an 79:40-41]
Hence, the fear of God is something we should endeavor to instill in our children. One way to do that is to remind them that transgression incurs punishment. That punishment can occur in ways great and small. For example, we might tell our children "Don't touch that stove! You're going to burn your hand." Despite this warning they touch it. We follow up, "See? You disobeyed me, and you burned your hand." We can then suggest, "One day, if we disobey God in this world, we're going to burn our entire body." They might not understand this latter warning, but as they grow, the message will increasingly resonate.
Someone might consider such a warning harsh or inappropriate.
However, this is one of the essential messages of the Qur'an. Namely, disobedience can have painful consequences. If we do not try to instill that message into our children at a young age, we may inadvertently be depriving them of the conceptual basis to subsequently understand one of the most critical messages of the Qur'an.
Of course such messages have to be presented with gentleness and wisdom. Our intention should never be to overwhelm our children. However, we should take advantage of the opportunities that present themselves in everyday life.
While every responsible parent endeavors to keep their children's hopes and dreams alive, we have to also let them know that there is something to aspire towards beyond this world. Just as our life in a real sense, did not begin with our physical emergence from our mother's womb, it does not stop with our entrance into the grave. When we journey to the next life, we will suffer or enjoy the negative or positive consequences of the actions we did in this world. By using situations we find everyday, we can emphasize, according to our experience and our children's cognitive abilities, this message.
The second point emphasized by the tradition we are discussing is encouraging a spirit of repentance in our children. As we mentioned, sins and transgression involve consequences. With sincere repentance those consequences can be eradicated. Emphasizing this point and further emphasizing other manifestations of God's mercy provide a balance that mitigates the harshness that might accrue by focusing on the reality of divine retribution and punishment. God is most willing to accept repentance. He is most merciful.
Again, we can take advantage of situations occurring in our everyday lives to cultivate a repentant spirit in our children. If they tell a lie, we can mention how inappropriate and harmful lies are. We can then add, "You are going to have to ask God to forgive you." Not only do situations such as this introduce the child to the idea of repentance, they also encourage them to get in the habit of communicating with God. One of the things missing from many of our Muslim homes is active communion with God.
Many of us who have converted to Islam from Christianity remember how we were in the habit of saying our nightly prayers. Such devotional acts provided sweetness to our faith. Although we may have found a superior creed when we adopted Islam, in some cases we find that the sweetness to be found in intimate discourses with God gradually leaves our lives. Prayerful repentance is one way we can begin to recapture that sweetness, and to encourage it in our children's lives.
Another advantage to be found in using everyday situations to convey meaningful lessons to our children is that they allow us opportunities for informal lessons. We can teach without stopping everything to sit down for a formal "lesson." If we tell our children when they tell a lie, for example, "We are going to sit down and have a little lesson on repentance. First of all, you have to immediately stop your sins. Secondly, you have to vow to never repeat the sinful act. Thirdly, you have to express remorse for having committed the sin. And fourthly, if the sin is associated with the right of another human being, you have to restore that right." Children generally dislike being lectured to, and the lesson probably will not be too effective.
It would probably be more effective to emphasize, informally, how bad lying is, the need to ask God's forgiveness, and conveying a firm threat to wash out the child's mouth with soap if they tell another lie. Of course, such threats have to be credible. They might not involve soap, but they should involve something that will be remembered by the child, without being harmful. What is important is conveying the gravity and seriousness of lying or other negative speech or behavior. Repentance is a desirable at both the individual and at the communal level. God says in the Qur'an, So turn in repentance altogether, you believers, in order that you be successful. [Al-Qur'an 24:31]
Hence, this particular point is relevant for all of us, not just the children. Repentance is very important and has to be constantly encouraged in order to become a natural action for a developing child. In addition to reminding our children to repent and asking God's forgiveness when they slip, we should also encourage them to ask His forgiveness when they say their nightly prayers.
This brings up another very important point. We should try to get our children in the habit of saying nightly prayers. As they become older, they can be taught the prophetic supplications and invocations to be said at night and before retiring. However, at younger ages cultivating a free and open communion with God is a very powerful practice. Sleep itself is our lesser death. Our children reminding themselves that God alone can bring them safely through the night; that He alone restores their consciousness after sleep; that He alone has the power to take our soul whenever He chooses, are all messages that cultivate a healthy god-consciousness.
Another very important part of our children's Islamic upbringing, something we generally neglect as a community, involves their participation in "fun" activities that involve a cross section of the community. One such activity is hiking. Hikes are accommodating to the young and old. Hence, children and adults can get involved together. Furthermore, while outdoor activities such as hiking are not religious activities per say, something appreciated by the older children who may be struggling with their Islamic identity, they provide great settings to involve the children in group devotional activities such prayer, Qur'an reading, Dhikr, or testimonials.[2]
Such activities also provide a setting where children can interact with community elders in an informal, nonreligious setting. Many children may not appreciate the fact that the local Imam has studied Islam for twenty years and is a master of Arabic rhetoric. However, when they see that the elderly gentleman can climb a hill much faster than they can, or jump over a stream unscathed while their boots are filled with water, they have an accessible basis for respecting the Imam. This opens up doors for a deeper personal relationship that will facilitate their subsequent willingness to benefit from his religious knowledge and experience.
Such activities are very positive because they also allow children to see that they have an Islamic identity group that is larger than their individual and possibly isolated family. They are with fifty Muslims trekking through the woods, calling cadences, singing songs, telling stories, stopping in a meadow for a football or soccer game, and the food is pretty good also. Such activities can leave an indelible positive mark on a child's life.
The third point raised by this prophetic tradition is to treat people with good character. We should constantly emphasize this. Our Prophet, peace upon him, has said, "I have only been sent to perfect good character." Muslims have historically been people known for their upstanding character. One of the greatest threats to Islamic character and manners is our contemporary youth culture, and one of the most destructive means conveying that culture is television.
One of the greatest things we can do for our children in terms of trying to instill good character in them is to get them away from the television. To be effective, we have to also endeavor to keep them away from children who watch television. This may seem like a daunting task. Fortunately, when they are younger and their universe is smaller and more controllable, this may not be as challenging as it appears. However, it is a communal task that requires a tremendous commitment on the part of many families.
Parents should encourage one another to form television-free communities. Islamic schools should consider an enrollment policy that requires homes to be television free for children to be admitted. This is very important, for if your child is going to an Islamic school and does not watch television, while his or her classmates are constantly reminding him or her what Brittney Spears is up to, or how great the Rolling Stones were during halftime at the Super Bowl, much of what you are trying to accomplish will be readily and easily undermined.
Saying this, I am not advocating an absolute ban on viewing motion pictures. Families can promise their children a weekly movie if they do well in school. They can gather their children to watch documentaries, nature shows, and other commercial-free fare that is controlled by the adults. Having some televised entertainment and education help to prevent the deep longing for the medium that can develop in children that are totally cut off from it.
The main thing to avoid is commercialized network television. The overt and subliminal messages involving everything from the glorification of criminality, to the belittling disrespect of elders, crass sexual exploitation, blatant inducements to become involved in a destructive consumer culture, and the irreverent denigration of religious themes, make viewing commercial television arguably questionable from a religious perspective. Many programs clearly have hidden agendas involving normalizing practices that Muslims hold forbidden, such as witchcraft or homosexuality. I would argue that any parent who allows their children to watch network television is derelict in their parental duties.
As we mention above, we can provide alternatives to network television. We can gather our children for a weekly movie with their friends, complete with the popcorn. We can select wholesome films whose content we have previewed. Hence, we are not talking about draconian measures that leave the concerned parent with no viable options for their children.
One of the most destructive effects of television is that it reinforces the false idea that between childhood and adulthood there is an increasingly longer adolescent phase, during which what are functionally adults are permitted to continue to act like children. When we travel to visit the Muslim world, we are amazed to see that in the villages and other areas not deeply affected by modernity, there is no adolescent phase. Older children are working the fields, selling in the marketplace, and taking care of younger siblings just like little adults. The silliness, giddiness, and irresponsibility we see even amongst many college students here in the West is totally absent.
That used to be the case here in America. Marriages between thirteen and fourteen year olds were once common. Thomas Edison was a self-made millionaire before he was fifteen years old. George Washington was an accomplished social and political thinker at the age of fifteen. Grammar schools equipped children with the tools to engage in the formation of mature thoughts before completing grade six. Now many university graduates have absolutely no exposure to logic, nor any of the other basics of a classical education.
We should also understand that America became great on the basis of significant and tangible characteristics and principles. If the generality of people in this country abandon those characteristics, as a community, we should try to retain them. These include a sound work ethic, willingness to sacrifice, hard work, thriftiness, respect for authority, courtesy, etiquettes, sound manners, empathy for the weak, and many other traits. Not only are these principles being undermined by many aspects of popular youth culture, in many instances the exact opposite values are being encouraged.
We have to constantly encourage good character and manners in our children. "Did you say please?" "You didn't say thank you." "You should have held the door for the lady coming into the store after you." Such urgings have to be constantly repeated until the desired traits become ingrained in our children. Repetition in many situations is a great pedagogical tool. It goes without saying that constantly repeated instructions also have to be diligently reinforced by adult example.
Again, is important to emphasize that this type of training should be carried out in a pleasant manner. We should try to avoid raising our voices and nagging. We should convey messages such as those mentioned above in a subtle, gentle way that almost sneaks up on our children. However, we should not avoid being firm in situations that demand firmness. God-willing we will be able to raise a generation that acts on the basis of good character.
The three points emphasized by this prophetic tradition should clearly be goals in our child rearing and education programs. A fourth thing that is also extremely important is to teach our children the love of the Prophet, peace upon him. We should start by taking the time to remind them who the Prophet, peace upon him, was, and what he looked like. We should inform them what his height was, how he kept his hair, what color his hair was, what his build was, what color of his eyes was, how his complexion was, etc. By educating them about his physical characteristics, he becomes more than an abstraction. We must endeavor to make him real for them.
Many of our Muslim children can tell you how tall LeBron James is, how much he weighs, what color his eyes are, where he went to high school, and how much his sneakers contract is worth. But they cannot mention a single attribute of their Prophet, peace upon him. This is an unacceptable situation we should strive to remedy.
Perhaps we could develop cards about the Prophet and the companions, just as we have baseball, and basketball cards featuring sports figures. Valuable information about our important personages could be conveyed in this way. Who was the tallest companion? Who lived the longest among them? They could trade these cards among themselves. Again, this would be an informal way of conveying information that we usually limit to formal settings. Familiarization is a key ingredient in the cultivation of love. It is difficult to love someone you do not know.
We should also praise our children when they display prophetic character. That praise should be directly linked to the Prophet, peace upon him. For example, "The prophet will love what you did for that cat because he taught us to be kind and merciful to all creatures." Perhaps your child will come one day and relate an incident like he following: "The kids found a bird at school today, it could not fly. Everyone was throwing rocks at it, but I didn't throw any rocks. I tried to stop them." We should enthusiastically respond, "That was so great! God and His Prophet, peace upon him, will really love you for that. God will show you mercy one day for your mercy to that bird." Now they not only feel good because they did something pleasing to you, they feel good because they did something pleasing to God and His Prophet, peace upon him.
Once again, these are practical lessons that occur in the context of our everyday life, and not formal lessons, abstracted from any meaningful context. If we merely related to them in a classroom, the Prophet, peace upon him, did this, or said that, we deny them any agency in their education. The former, more informal approach emphasizing that they themselves did this or that in a manner consistent with prophetic teaching, allows them to take agency in their religious life. This is empowering for them and can go a long way towards fostering a healthy Islamic identity.
Another bit of beneficial advice, culled from the prophetic teachings, is avoiding feeding our children the very best of food all the time. This teaching is a reflection of the fact that the way of the Prophets, peace upon them, is moderation. For example, we should avoid constantly giving them ice cream, pizzas, and other types of food they find particularly enjoyable. We should try to give them ordinary food as much as possible. Then, when we do periodically give them something they really like, it is so much more enjoyable for them. This is one way to get them to appreciate the blessings of God. If we constantly give them the best of food and constantly give them the food they like, they'll take the blessings of God for granted. That is something that can make their hearts become hard or cold.
Similarly, we should not give our kids the best of clothes even if we can afford to do so. Doing so could also lead to them taking the blessings of God for granted, and it might cause them to arrogate themselves over poorer children. Dressing them in the very best and finest of clothes might also make poorer children jealous of them and then make fun of them to attempt to belittle them because they see them as being better than themselves. On the other hand, one should try to avoid dressing them shabbily as that might lower their self-esteem. We should try to maintain the balance that is characteristic of our religion. This balance will help them avoid developing arrogant, condescending, or insecure personalities.
We should get them accustomed to manual work. I recently asked a group of Muslims if anyone of them had ever changed a flat tire. No one in the entire assembly answered affirmatively. These are the sort of things every child should learn how to do. At Islamic schools we can have local mechanics come in to give short courses on the basics of automobile maintenance. When our male children reach their teenage years we can arrange for apprenticeships for them at a local Muslim mechanics shop during summer vacations. We can make arrangements to pay for the child's "salary" ourselves. Gardening is a great activity for both boys and the girls. Our children should learn to get their hands dirty.
We might also consider sending our high school and college age youth to work in Muslim refugee camps. This is a great way to help develop a healthy social consciousness in them. It also gets them close to the earth. Children who have visited such areas generally become a lot more appreciative of the blessings they enjoy here. Our Prophet, peace upon him, knew the value of work. He was a shepherd; and he guided caravans across the desert. These activities were integral in shaping his character.
We should start training our children in the martial arts at an early age. If they grow up practicing a particular art it will become easy and natural for them. If a child started a particular martial art at six or seven years old, when he or she is twenty-one, they would have studied that art for fifteen years and would be an absolute master.
Studying the martial arts is not to enable them to bully other children. It is a means for them to have healthy self-esteem. That makes it easier for them to be Muslim in a sometimes hostile environment. If they know they can defend themselves, it makes it easier to deal with the pressure and potential intimidation that comes from being different.
That is something that is very important for our children. A person who is confident in himself would never start a fight. The best martial artist is the one you would never suspect, not the one beating on his chest, flexing his muscles and elbowing people. This is something that is very important in the healthy development of our boys and girls.
In conclusion, we should try to make the space for the children to be children, to enjoy their childhood years. However, we must let them know that these years are preparation for adult life, and that adulthood is very serious. That coming seriousness though should not be used as a justification to overwhelm them. Moderation provides a golden means. Respecting that means helps us to avoid the extreme of an overindulgent childhood followed by a period of perpetual adolescence, just as it helps us to avoid stultifying, rigid, overbearing child rearing practices that can effectively rob our children of a rich childhood . Hopefully we can remain balanced, giving our young generation the space to be children, but letting them know that they're preparing for a serious life.
Footnote: [1] Imam Abu `Isa Muhammad bin `Isa at-Tirmidhi, Jami' at-Tirmidhi
(Riyadh: Dar As-Salaam, 1999/1420), p. 460, no. 1987.
[2] Testifying is another activity the many converts from Christianity are familiar with. Believers, in a public setting, testify to the affect the Gospel has had on their lives. This is a great group activity that Muslims should encourage. Stories of how a person converted to Islam, why another began serious about the religion after a life of sin or other personal narratives can have a tremendous impact on Muslim children, especially those who may be struggling trying to live a righteous life.
Published: May 22, 2006
When we talk about Islamic education and our children, the discussion usually revolves around strictly academic issues related to technical aspects of curriculum development, testing standards and methodologies, balancing between secular and religious education, and similar concerns. Sometimes we miss the greater objective of an Islamic education. That objective, in terms of what is necessary for the immediate success of our children in this world, and their ultimate success in the next, is nurturing balanced, wholesome, honest human beings who live lives based on principle and who exemplify good character in their dealings with other people.
The basis for the obtainment of this objective is captured in the following prophetic tradition, "Be mindful of God wherever you are, and follow up any misdeed you might do with a good deed that will wipe it out (being weightier in the scale). And deal with people on the basis of good character."[1] I will endeavor to expound on some of the relevant lessons from this tradition in the balance of this article.
This tradition mentions three very important things that should be fundamental to our educational endeavor. The first is endeavoring to instill a healthy fear of God in the child. Part of that endeavor lies in imparting to our children some of the aspects of what Americans refer to as "that old-time religion." Many aspects of what actually constitutes that old-time religion are sometimes viewed as prudish or unfashionable in today's society. However, they involve religious themes that have been instrumental in guiding people for millennia.
One of the bases of "that old-time religion" is a healthy fear of God. That fear, which has to be balanced by hope for God's mercy, revolves around the awareness that God's punishment is real. Hell and its torments are real. The retribution of those who have behaved wrongfully in the world is real. Sometimes we can become so engrossed with intellectualized discussions of our religion, so steeped in philosophical discourse, that we forget, at the end of the day, the hard realities mentioned above. If as adults we are heedless concerning these things, it is difficult for us to realize their importance for our children, especially during their formative years.
Cultivating a healthy fear of God is rooted in mindfulness of Him.
Mindfulness is a prerequisite for fear. For this reason, one of the initial goals of the spiritual path is cultivating fear of God. This is the initial thrust that propels the aspirant through subsequent stages of true human development. As one wise man once mentioned, "The fountainhead of all wisdom is the fear of God." It is mentioned in the Qur'an, Rather it is His righteous servants who fear God. {Al-Qur'an 35:28] This fear is one of the keys to Paradise. God says, As for one who fears the station of his Lord, and guards his soul against the things it inclines towards, Paradise will be his refuge. [Al-Qur'an 79:40-41]
Hence, the fear of God is something we should endeavor to instill in our children. One way to do that is to remind them that transgression incurs punishment. That punishment can occur in ways great and small. For example, we might tell our children "Don't touch that stove! You're going to burn your hand." Despite this warning they touch it. We follow up, "See? You disobeyed me, and you burned your hand." We can then suggest, "One day, if we disobey God in this world, we're going to burn our entire body." They might not understand this latter warning, but as they grow, the message will increasingly resonate.
Someone might consider such a warning harsh or inappropriate.
However, this is one of the essential messages of the Qur'an. Namely, disobedience can have painful consequences. If we do not try to instill that message into our children at a young age, we may inadvertently be depriving them of the conceptual basis to subsequently understand one of the most critical messages of the Qur'an.
Of course such messages have to be presented with gentleness and wisdom. Our intention should never be to overwhelm our children. However, we should take advantage of the opportunities that present themselves in everyday life.
While every responsible parent endeavors to keep their children's hopes and dreams alive, we have to also let them know that there is something to aspire towards beyond this world. Just as our life in a real sense, did not begin with our physical emergence from our mother's womb, it does not stop with our entrance into the grave. When we journey to the next life, we will suffer or enjoy the negative or positive consequences of the actions we did in this world. By using situations we find everyday, we can emphasize, according to our experience and our children's cognitive abilities, this message.
The second point emphasized by the tradition we are discussing is encouraging a spirit of repentance in our children. As we mentioned, sins and transgression involve consequences. With sincere repentance those consequences can be eradicated. Emphasizing this point and further emphasizing other manifestations of God's mercy provide a balance that mitigates the harshness that might accrue by focusing on the reality of divine retribution and punishment. God is most willing to accept repentance. He is most merciful.
Again, we can take advantage of situations occurring in our everyday lives to cultivate a repentant spirit in our children. If they tell a lie, we can mention how inappropriate and harmful lies are. We can then add, "You are going to have to ask God to forgive you." Not only do situations such as this introduce the child to the idea of repentance, they also encourage them to get in the habit of communicating with God. One of the things missing from many of our Muslim homes is active communion with God.
Many of us who have converted to Islam from Christianity remember how we were in the habit of saying our nightly prayers. Such devotional acts provided sweetness to our faith. Although we may have found a superior creed when we adopted Islam, in some cases we find that the sweetness to be found in intimate discourses with God gradually leaves our lives. Prayerful repentance is one way we can begin to recapture that sweetness, and to encourage it in our children's lives.
Another advantage to be found in using everyday situations to convey meaningful lessons to our children is that they allow us opportunities for informal lessons. We can teach without stopping everything to sit down for a formal "lesson." If we tell our children when they tell a lie, for example, "We are going to sit down and have a little lesson on repentance. First of all, you have to immediately stop your sins. Secondly, you have to vow to never repeat the sinful act. Thirdly, you have to express remorse for having committed the sin. And fourthly, if the sin is associated with the right of another human being, you have to restore that right." Children generally dislike being lectured to, and the lesson probably will not be too effective.
It would probably be more effective to emphasize, informally, how bad lying is, the need to ask God's forgiveness, and conveying a firm threat to wash out the child's mouth with soap if they tell another lie. Of course, such threats have to be credible. They might not involve soap, but they should involve something that will be remembered by the child, without being harmful. What is important is conveying the gravity and seriousness of lying or other negative speech or behavior. Repentance is a desirable at both the individual and at the communal level. God says in the Qur'an, So turn in repentance altogether, you believers, in order that you be successful. [Al-Qur'an 24:31]
Hence, this particular point is relevant for all of us, not just the children. Repentance is very important and has to be constantly encouraged in order to become a natural action for a developing child. In addition to reminding our children to repent and asking God's forgiveness when they slip, we should also encourage them to ask His forgiveness when they say their nightly prayers.
This brings up another very important point. We should try to get our children in the habit of saying nightly prayers. As they become older, they can be taught the prophetic supplications and invocations to be said at night and before retiring. However, at younger ages cultivating a free and open communion with God is a very powerful practice. Sleep itself is our lesser death. Our children reminding themselves that God alone can bring them safely through the night; that He alone restores their consciousness after sleep; that He alone has the power to take our soul whenever He chooses, are all messages that cultivate a healthy god-consciousness.
Another very important part of our children's Islamic upbringing, something we generally neglect as a community, involves their participation in "fun" activities that involve a cross section of the community. One such activity is hiking. Hikes are accommodating to the young and old. Hence, children and adults can get involved together. Furthermore, while outdoor activities such as hiking are not religious activities per say, something appreciated by the older children who may be struggling with their Islamic identity, they provide great settings to involve the children in group devotional activities such prayer, Qur'an reading, Dhikr, or testimonials.[2]
Such activities also provide a setting where children can interact with community elders in an informal, nonreligious setting. Many children may not appreciate the fact that the local Imam has studied Islam for twenty years and is a master of Arabic rhetoric. However, when they see that the elderly gentleman can climb a hill much faster than they can, or jump over a stream unscathed while their boots are filled with water, they have an accessible basis for respecting the Imam. This opens up doors for a deeper personal relationship that will facilitate their subsequent willingness to benefit from his religious knowledge and experience.
Such activities are very positive because they also allow children to see that they have an Islamic identity group that is larger than their individual and possibly isolated family. They are with fifty Muslims trekking through the woods, calling cadences, singing songs, telling stories, stopping in a meadow for a football or soccer game, and the food is pretty good also. Such activities can leave an indelible positive mark on a child's life.
The third point raised by this prophetic tradition is to treat people with good character. We should constantly emphasize this. Our Prophet, peace upon him, has said, "I have only been sent to perfect good character." Muslims have historically been people known for their upstanding character. One of the greatest threats to Islamic character and manners is our contemporary youth culture, and one of the most destructive means conveying that culture is television.
One of the greatest things we can do for our children in terms of trying to instill good character in them is to get them away from the television. To be effective, we have to also endeavor to keep them away from children who watch television. This may seem like a daunting task. Fortunately, when they are younger and their universe is smaller and more controllable, this may not be as challenging as it appears. However, it is a communal task that requires a tremendous commitment on the part of many families.
Parents should encourage one another to form television-free communities. Islamic schools should consider an enrollment policy that requires homes to be television free for children to be admitted. This is very important, for if your child is going to an Islamic school and does not watch television, while his or her classmates are constantly reminding him or her what Brittney Spears is up to, or how great the Rolling Stones were during halftime at the Super Bowl, much of what you are trying to accomplish will be readily and easily undermined.
Saying this, I am not advocating an absolute ban on viewing motion pictures. Families can promise their children a weekly movie if they do well in school. They can gather their children to watch documentaries, nature shows, and other commercial-free fare that is controlled by the adults. Having some televised entertainment and education help to prevent the deep longing for the medium that can develop in children that are totally cut off from it.
The main thing to avoid is commercialized network television. The overt and subliminal messages involving everything from the glorification of criminality, to the belittling disrespect of elders, crass sexual exploitation, blatant inducements to become involved in a destructive consumer culture, and the irreverent denigration of religious themes, make viewing commercial television arguably questionable from a religious perspective. Many programs clearly have hidden agendas involving normalizing practices that Muslims hold forbidden, such as witchcraft or homosexuality. I would argue that any parent who allows their children to watch network television is derelict in their parental duties.
As we mention above, we can provide alternatives to network television. We can gather our children for a weekly movie with their friends, complete with the popcorn. We can select wholesome films whose content we have previewed. Hence, we are not talking about draconian measures that leave the concerned parent with no viable options for their children.
One of the most destructive effects of television is that it reinforces the false idea that between childhood and adulthood there is an increasingly longer adolescent phase, during which what are functionally adults are permitted to continue to act like children. When we travel to visit the Muslim world, we are amazed to see that in the villages and other areas not deeply affected by modernity, there is no adolescent phase. Older children are working the fields, selling in the marketplace, and taking care of younger siblings just like little adults. The silliness, giddiness, and irresponsibility we see even amongst many college students here in the West is totally absent.
That used to be the case here in America. Marriages between thirteen and fourteen year olds were once common. Thomas Edison was a self-made millionaire before he was fifteen years old. George Washington was an accomplished social and political thinker at the age of fifteen. Grammar schools equipped children with the tools to engage in the formation of mature thoughts before completing grade six. Now many university graduates have absolutely no exposure to logic, nor any of the other basics of a classical education.
We should also understand that America became great on the basis of significant and tangible characteristics and principles. If the generality of people in this country abandon those characteristics, as a community, we should try to retain them. These include a sound work ethic, willingness to sacrifice, hard work, thriftiness, respect for authority, courtesy, etiquettes, sound manners, empathy for the weak, and many other traits. Not only are these principles being undermined by many aspects of popular youth culture, in many instances the exact opposite values are being encouraged.
We have to constantly encourage good character and manners in our children. "Did you say please?" "You didn't say thank you." "You should have held the door for the lady coming into the store after you." Such urgings have to be constantly repeated until the desired traits become ingrained in our children. Repetition in many situations is a great pedagogical tool. It goes without saying that constantly repeated instructions also have to be diligently reinforced by adult example.
Again, is important to emphasize that this type of training should be carried out in a pleasant manner. We should try to avoid raising our voices and nagging. We should convey messages such as those mentioned above in a subtle, gentle way that almost sneaks up on our children. However, we should not avoid being firm in situations that demand firmness. God-willing we will be able to raise a generation that acts on the basis of good character.
The three points emphasized by this prophetic tradition should clearly be goals in our child rearing and education programs. A fourth thing that is also extremely important is to teach our children the love of the Prophet, peace upon him. We should start by taking the time to remind them who the Prophet, peace upon him, was, and what he looked like. We should inform them what his height was, how he kept his hair, what color his hair was, what his build was, what color of his eyes was, how his complexion was, etc. By educating them about his physical characteristics, he becomes more than an abstraction. We must endeavor to make him real for them.
Many of our Muslim children can tell you how tall LeBron James is, how much he weighs, what color his eyes are, where he went to high school, and how much his sneakers contract is worth. But they cannot mention a single attribute of their Prophet, peace upon him. This is an unacceptable situation we should strive to remedy.
Perhaps we could develop cards about the Prophet and the companions, just as we have baseball, and basketball cards featuring sports figures. Valuable information about our important personages could be conveyed in this way. Who was the tallest companion? Who lived the longest among them? They could trade these cards among themselves. Again, this would be an informal way of conveying information that we usually limit to formal settings. Familiarization is a key ingredient in the cultivation of love. It is difficult to love someone you do not know.
We should also praise our children when they display prophetic character. That praise should be directly linked to the Prophet, peace upon him. For example, "The prophet will love what you did for that cat because he taught us to be kind and merciful to all creatures." Perhaps your child will come one day and relate an incident like he following: "The kids found a bird at school today, it could not fly. Everyone was throwing rocks at it, but I didn't throw any rocks. I tried to stop them." We should enthusiastically respond, "That was so great! God and His Prophet, peace upon him, will really love you for that. God will show you mercy one day for your mercy to that bird." Now they not only feel good because they did something pleasing to you, they feel good because they did something pleasing to God and His Prophet, peace upon him.
Once again, these are practical lessons that occur in the context of our everyday life, and not formal lessons, abstracted from any meaningful context. If we merely related to them in a classroom, the Prophet, peace upon him, did this, or said that, we deny them any agency in their education. The former, more informal approach emphasizing that they themselves did this or that in a manner consistent with prophetic teaching, allows them to take agency in their religious life. This is empowering for them and can go a long way towards fostering a healthy Islamic identity.
Another bit of beneficial advice, culled from the prophetic teachings, is avoiding feeding our children the very best of food all the time. This teaching is a reflection of the fact that the way of the Prophets, peace upon them, is moderation. For example, we should avoid constantly giving them ice cream, pizzas, and other types of food they find particularly enjoyable. We should try to give them ordinary food as much as possible. Then, when we do periodically give them something they really like, it is so much more enjoyable for them. This is one way to get them to appreciate the blessings of God. If we constantly give them the best of food and constantly give them the food they like, they'll take the blessings of God for granted. That is something that can make their hearts become hard or cold.
Similarly, we should not give our kids the best of clothes even if we can afford to do so. Doing so could also lead to them taking the blessings of God for granted, and it might cause them to arrogate themselves over poorer children. Dressing them in the very best and finest of clothes might also make poorer children jealous of them and then make fun of them to attempt to belittle them because they see them as being better than themselves. On the other hand, one should try to avoid dressing them shabbily as that might lower their self-esteem. We should try to maintain the balance that is characteristic of our religion. This balance will help them avoid developing arrogant, condescending, or insecure personalities.
We should get them accustomed to manual work. I recently asked a group of Muslims if anyone of them had ever changed a flat tire. No one in the entire assembly answered affirmatively. These are the sort of things every child should learn how to do. At Islamic schools we can have local mechanics come in to give short courses on the basics of automobile maintenance. When our male children reach their teenage years we can arrange for apprenticeships for them at a local Muslim mechanics shop during summer vacations. We can make arrangements to pay for the child's "salary" ourselves. Gardening is a great activity for both boys and the girls. Our children should learn to get their hands dirty.
We might also consider sending our high school and college age youth to work in Muslim refugee camps. This is a great way to help develop a healthy social consciousness in them. It also gets them close to the earth. Children who have visited such areas generally become a lot more appreciative of the blessings they enjoy here. Our Prophet, peace upon him, knew the value of work. He was a shepherd; and he guided caravans across the desert. These activities were integral in shaping his character.
We should start training our children in the martial arts at an early age. If they grow up practicing a particular art it will become easy and natural for them. If a child started a particular martial art at six or seven years old, when he or she is twenty-one, they would have studied that art for fifteen years and would be an absolute master.
Studying the martial arts is not to enable them to bully other children. It is a means for them to have healthy self-esteem. That makes it easier for them to be Muslim in a sometimes hostile environment. If they know they can defend themselves, it makes it easier to deal with the pressure and potential intimidation that comes from being different.
That is something that is very important for our children. A person who is confident in himself would never start a fight. The best martial artist is the one you would never suspect, not the one beating on his chest, flexing his muscles and elbowing people. This is something that is very important in the healthy development of our boys and girls.
In conclusion, we should try to make the space for the children to be children, to enjoy their childhood years. However, we must let them know that these years are preparation for adult life, and that adulthood is very serious. That coming seriousness though should not be used as a justification to overwhelm them. Moderation provides a golden means. Respecting that means helps us to avoid the extreme of an overindulgent childhood followed by a period of perpetual adolescence, just as it helps us to avoid stultifying, rigid, overbearing child rearing practices that can effectively rob our children of a rich childhood . Hopefully we can remain balanced, giving our young generation the space to be children, but letting them know that they're preparing for a serious life.
Footnote: [1] Imam Abu `Isa Muhammad bin `Isa at-Tirmidhi, Jami' at-Tirmidhi
(Riyadh: Dar As-Salaam, 1999/1420), p. 460, no. 1987.
[2] Testifying is another activity the many converts from Christianity are familiar with. Believers, in a public setting, testify to the affect the Gospel has had on their lives. This is a great group activity that Muslims should encourage. Stories of how a person converted to Islam, why another began serious about the religion after a life of sin or other personal narratives can have a tremendous impact on Muslim children, especially those who may be struggling trying to live a righteous life.
Clever King
There was a country long time ago where the people would change a king every year. The person who would become the king had to agree to a contract that... he will be sent to an island after his one year of being a king. So, one king finished his term and it was time for him to go to the island and live there. The people dressed him up in expensive clothes and put him on an elephant and took him around the cities to say goodbye to all the people. This was the moment of sadness for all the kings who ruled for one year. After saying goodbye, the people took the king with a boat to the remote island and left him there. On their way back, they discovered a ship that had sunk just recently. They saw a young man who survived by holding on to a floating piece of wood. As they needed a new king, they picked up the young man and took him to their country. They requested him to be a king for a year. First he refused but later he agreed to be a king. People told him about all the rules and regulations and that how he will be sent to an island after one year.
After three days of being a king, he asked the ministers if they could show him the island where all the other kings were sent. They agreed and took him to the island. The island was covered with thick jungles and sound of vicious animals were heard coming out of them. The king went little bit inside to see how it was and discovered the dead bodies of all the past kings. He understood that as soon as they were left in the island, the animals came and killed them. The king then went back to the country and requested the people to provide him with 100 strong workers. He was provided with 100 workers and he took them to the island and told them to remove all the deadly animals and to cut down all the trees. He would visit the island every month to see how the work is progressing. In the first month, all the animals were removed and many trees were cut down. In the second month, the whole island was cleaned out. The king then told the workers to plant gardens in various parts of the island. He also took with himself useful animals like chickens, ducks, birds, goats, cows etc. In the third month, he ordered the workers to build big houses and docking stations for ships. Over the months, the island turned into a beautiful place. The young king would wear simple clothes and spend very little from his earnings. He sent all the earnings to the island for storage. Nine months have passed like this. The king called the people and told them that "I know that I have to go the island after one year, but I would like to go there right now." But the people didn't agree to this and said that he have to wait for another 3 months to complete the year.
3 months passed and now it was a full year. The people dressed up the young king and put him on an elephant to take him around the country to say goodbye to others. However, this king is unusually happy to leave the kingdom. People asked him, "All the other kings would cry at this moment and why are you laughing?" He replied, "Don't you know what the wise people say? They say that when you came to this world as a baby, you were crying and everyone was smiling. Live such a life that when you are dieing, you will be smiling and everyone around you will be crying. I have lived that life. While all the other kings were lost into the luxuries of the kingdom, I always thought about the future and planned for it. I turned the deadly island into a beautiful abode for me where I can stay peacefullly."
We should take a lesson from this story about how we should also live our life. The life of this world is to prepare for the life hereafter. In this life, we shouldn't get lost into the beautiful things of this world and forget about what is to come in the afterlife. Rather, even if we are kings, we should live a simple life like our beloved Prophet Muhammad (SAW) and save all our enjoyments for the hereafter. May Allah make it easy for us all.
After three days of being a king, he asked the ministers if they could show him the island where all the other kings were sent. They agreed and took him to the island. The island was covered with thick jungles and sound of vicious animals were heard coming out of them. The king went little bit inside to see how it was and discovered the dead bodies of all the past kings. He understood that as soon as they were left in the island, the animals came and killed them. The king then went back to the country and requested the people to provide him with 100 strong workers. He was provided with 100 workers and he took them to the island and told them to remove all the deadly animals and to cut down all the trees. He would visit the island every month to see how the work is progressing. In the first month, all the animals were removed and many trees were cut down. In the second month, the whole island was cleaned out. The king then told the workers to plant gardens in various parts of the island. He also took with himself useful animals like chickens, ducks, birds, goats, cows etc. In the third month, he ordered the workers to build big houses and docking stations for ships. Over the months, the island turned into a beautiful place. The young king would wear simple clothes and spend very little from his earnings. He sent all the earnings to the island for storage. Nine months have passed like this. The king called the people and told them that "I know that I have to go the island after one year, but I would like to go there right now." But the people didn't agree to this and said that he have to wait for another 3 months to complete the year.
3 months passed and now it was a full year. The people dressed up the young king and put him on an elephant to take him around the country to say goodbye to others. However, this king is unusually happy to leave the kingdom. People asked him, "All the other kings would cry at this moment and why are you laughing?" He replied, "Don't you know what the wise people say? They say that when you came to this world as a baby, you were crying and everyone was smiling. Live such a life that when you are dieing, you will be smiling and everyone around you will be crying. I have lived that life. While all the other kings were lost into the luxuries of the kingdom, I always thought about the future and planned for it. I turned the deadly island into a beautiful abode for me where I can stay peacefullly."
We should take a lesson from this story about how we should also live our life. The life of this world is to prepare for the life hereafter. In this life, we shouldn't get lost into the beautiful things of this world and forget about what is to come in the afterlife. Rather, even if we are kings, we should live a simple life like our beloved Prophet Muhammad (SAW) and save all our enjoyments for the hereafter. May Allah make it easy for us all.
Benefits of Understanding the Quran
1. The Purpose of Revelation
If you don’t understand Qur’an and keep on reading it, the very purpose of revelation is lost. Allah SWT says: “ (Here is) a Book which We have sent down unto you (O Muhammad!), full of blessings, that they may mediate on its Signs, and that men of understanding may receive admonition [38:29].”
How can we do that if we don’t understand the Qur’an! One cannot and does not carry translation always, especially while listening to it in Salah!
2. The Garden of Mind The mind is like a garden. If we don’t sow flowers, weeds will grow. Even if we sow flowers, weeds will still grow. We will need to remove the weeds continuously.
Flowers are the Guidance and the weeds are satanic thoughts. Allah SWT sows flower seeds into our brain every time we listen to Qur’an, especially in Salah/Namaz. If we don’t water them (ponder), they will be wasted and weeds may grow.
3. The Objectives of Recitation There are 5 objectives of Reading Qur’an:
to receive rewards from Allah;
to gain knowledge;
to take action based on what Allah SWT is asking us to do;
to cure our heart and mind; and
to talk to Allah SWT!
How can we achieve all of these, especially the last four, if we don’t understand the Qur’an.
4. The Cleaning of Heart People know that Fajr is compulsory but very few come to Masjid. Why? Not because they don’t know but because their hearts are rusted. We have a major misconception that Qur’an is a book of commandments only. The verses that deal with commandments constitute less than 10% of the total verses. The rest 90% is for the heart and mind. The heart keeps rusting and deviating because of sins. We need de-rusting and re-alignment.
Adam (A) was asked not to go near the tree. Allah says: “but he forgot; and We did not find in him any determination.” We humans have these weaknesses. We have several fitnahs (trials) surrounding us. We need continuous reminders and warnings which come to us only through daily recitation and listening to the Qur’an. Allah says about the Qur’an: “a healing for the (diseases) in your hearts” [10:57]. Can there be a better cure than what Allah has prescribed for us?
5. The Strengthening of heart The Qur’an was revealed to the prophet (PBUH) in pieces. “And those who disbelieve say: Why has not the Quran been revealed to him all at once? Thus, that We may strengthen your heart by it and We have arranged it well in arranging. [25:32]. Heart should be firm in belief to His promises and warnings. Continuous pondering of the Qur’an everyday during and after Salahs helps us strengthen our hearts.
6. Daily ‘Talk’ (Munajaat) with Allah SWT Prophet Muhammed (PUBH) used to interact with the recitation. “And when he recited the Verses which referred to the Glory of Allah, he glorified Him, the Great, and when he recited the Verses that mention supplication, he supplicated, and when he recited the Verses that mention seeking Refuge of the Rubb, he sought (His) Refuge.” [Muslim].
Can we live without talking at least five minutes every day to our near and dear ones? Allah is most beloved to us. He loves us more than seventy times that of our mothers. Still we live without bothering as to what Allah SWT said today to us during Salah!
7. Live Guidance Whatever we read or listen to the Qur’an, remember that it is a live guidance from Allah SWT to each individual when he or she listens to Qur’an. It is a HUGE loss only if one can appreciates the value of live guidance from Allah, our own Creator. A wise man can never neglect this.
8. Relationship with Allah SWT There are different dimensions to the relationship with Allah - His Love, Sincerity, Trust in Him, Remembering Him directly and whenever we see His signs in creation, Pondering His creation and in His names, not complaining of Qadaa, etc. This relationship is strengthened over time. It requires slow and steady cooking with regular heat coming from Qur’an.
9. Qu’ranic Character According to Aisha (R), “His (the Prophet, pbuh) morals were the Qur’an”. The Qur’an is theory and the Prophet’s life was practical demonstration of that theory (thee Qur’an). We need to study the Seerah of the Prophet pbuh and keep relating the verses that we study to his life. This is a project in itself and requires one to ponder the verses every day along with the Seerah of the Prophet, pbuh.
10. Qur’anic Vision As a patient starts describing his problems, the doctor’s mind starts working on diagnosis and comes up with the relevant medicines. Similary, we come across many situations in our life. We should be able to see solutions in the Qur’an corresponding to these situations. Only through continuous pondering and relating it to the daily life, one can attain this vision.
How can we do that if we don’t understand the Qur’an! One cannot and does not carry translation always, especially while listening to it in Salah!
2. The Garden of Mind The mind is like a garden. If we don’t sow flowers, weeds will grow. Even if we sow flowers, weeds will still grow. We will need to remove the weeds continuously.
Flowers are the Guidance and the weeds are satanic thoughts. Allah SWT sows flower seeds into our brain every time we listen to Qur’an, especially in Salah/Namaz. If we don’t water them (ponder), they will be wasted and weeds may grow.
3. The Objectives of Recitation There are 5 objectives of Reading Qur’an:
to receive rewards from Allah;
to gain knowledge;
to take action based on what Allah SWT is asking us to do;
to cure our heart and mind; and
to talk to Allah SWT!
How can we achieve all of these, especially the last four, if we don’t understand the Qur’an.
4. The Cleaning of Heart People know that Fajr is compulsory but very few come to Masjid. Why? Not because they don’t know but because their hearts are rusted. We have a major misconception that Qur’an is a book of commandments only. The verses that deal with commandments constitute less than 10% of the total verses. The rest 90% is for the heart and mind. The heart keeps rusting and deviating because of sins. We need de-rusting and re-alignment.
Adam (A) was asked not to go near the tree. Allah says: “but he forgot; and We did not find in him any determination.” We humans have these weaknesses. We have several fitnahs (trials) surrounding us. We need continuous reminders and warnings which come to us only through daily recitation and listening to the Qur’an. Allah says about the Qur’an: “a healing for the (diseases) in your hearts” [10:57]. Can there be a better cure than what Allah has prescribed for us?
5. The Strengthening of heart The Qur’an was revealed to the prophet (PBUH) in pieces. “And those who disbelieve say: Why has not the Quran been revealed to him all at once? Thus, that We may strengthen your heart by it and We have arranged it well in arranging. [25:32]. Heart should be firm in belief to His promises and warnings. Continuous pondering of the Qur’an everyday during and after Salahs helps us strengthen our hearts.
6. Daily ‘Talk’ (Munajaat) with Allah SWT Prophet Muhammed (PUBH) used to interact with the recitation. “And when he recited the Verses which referred to the Glory of Allah, he glorified Him, the Great, and when he recited the Verses that mention supplication, he supplicated, and when he recited the Verses that mention seeking Refuge of the Rubb, he sought (His) Refuge.” [Muslim].
Can we live without talking at least five minutes every day to our near and dear ones? Allah is most beloved to us. He loves us more than seventy times that of our mothers. Still we live without bothering as to what Allah SWT said today to us during Salah!
7. Live Guidance Whatever we read or listen to the Qur’an, remember that it is a live guidance from Allah SWT to each individual when he or she listens to Qur’an. It is a HUGE loss only if one can appreciates the value of live guidance from Allah, our own Creator. A wise man can never neglect this.
8. Relationship with Allah SWT There are different dimensions to the relationship with Allah - His Love, Sincerity, Trust in Him, Remembering Him directly and whenever we see His signs in creation, Pondering His creation and in His names, not complaining of Qadaa, etc. This relationship is strengthened over time. It requires slow and steady cooking with regular heat coming from Qur’an.
9. Qu’ranic Character According to Aisha (R), “His (the Prophet, pbuh) morals were the Qur’an”. The Qur’an is theory and the Prophet’s life was practical demonstration of that theory (thee Qur’an). We need to study the Seerah of the Prophet pbuh and keep relating the verses that we study to his life. This is a project in itself and requires one to ponder the verses every day along with the Seerah of the Prophet, pbuh.
10. Qur’anic Vision As a patient starts describing his problems, the doctor’s mind starts working on diagnosis and comes up with the relevant medicines. Similary, we come across many situations in our life. We should be able to see solutions in the Qur’an corresponding to these situations. Only through continuous pondering and relating it to the daily life, one can attain this vision.
THE BLESSED MONTH OF RAMADAN
THE BLESSED MONTH OF RAMADAN
Dr. Ibrahim B. Syed
President
Islamic Research Foundation International, Inc.
7102 W Shefford Lane
Louisville, KY 4024206462
E-MAIL: PRESIDENT@IRFI.ORG
WEBSITE: WWW.IRFI.ORG
Human beings look for what they think of as happiness in thrills and chills, in things and events, ininstant gratification. Surely, this type of thing is fun, but it's transitory(short-lived). To be truly happy - contented, at peace with oneself – one must be true to oneself, honest with those around. One must treat other people fairly.
The real source of happiness is inner peace. If our mind is peaceful, we shall be happy all the time, regardless of external conditions, but if it is disturbed or troubled in any way, we shall never be happy, no matter how good our external conditions may be. External conditions can only make us happy if our mind is peaceful. We can understand this through our own experience. For instance, even if we are in the most beautiful surroundings and have everything we need, the moment we get angry any happiness we may have disappears. This is because anger has destroyed our inner peace.
If one wants true and lasting happiness one needs to develop and maintain “inner peace”. The only way we can do this is by training our mind and body through spiritual practice. For Muslims Ramadan gives the opportunity of Siyam (fasting), Salaat (ritual prayers), Tilawat-e-Qur’an (recitation of the Qur’an) and Dhikr Allah (Remembrance of Allah). The blessed month of Ramadan brings happiness, goodness, spiritual enlightenment, rewards, and physical and spiritual benefits to all the Muslims. Ramadan brings out a special feeling of emotional excitement and religious zeal among Muslims of all ages. Children look forward to the excitement of sighting the moon and eating special meals with their families. Adults appreciate the opportunity to double their rewards from God and seek forgiveness for past sins. As Ramadan emphasizes Muslim brotherhood and community, all feel a particular closeness towards Allah and amongst their family and friends. Muslims have to change their whole physical and emotional selves during these 30 long days of fasting. “Atyab at-tihani Bi-munasabat hulul shahru Ramadan al-Mubarak” is Arabic for: “The most precious congratulations on the occasion of the coming of Ramadan”
WHAT IS RAMADAN?
The word, Ramadan is derived from the Arabic root word ramida or ar-ramad signifying strong burning heat and dryness, especially the ground. Thus, the word Ramadan indicates the warm sensation in the stomach as a result of thirst. Spiritually, Ramadan burns out the sins with good deeds, as the sun burns the ground. The hearts and souls of believers are more receptive (readily open) to the warnings and remembrance of Allah during Ramadan, just as the sand and stones are receptive to the sun's heat. While the heat helps shape, form, and mold virtually every matter - including metal, plastics, plants and living cells - Ramadan undoubtedly helps a serious believer to remold, reshape, reform, and renew his/her physical and spiritual nature and behavior.
RAMADAN is called the blessed month because:
In this month, the whole Qur'an was sent down to the first sky from Lawhe Mahfuz. In the month of Ramadan, there is the night (Laylathul Qadr), which is better than 1000 months. In this month, the thawaab of good deed is equal to the fardh of another month. This is the month of patience and the reward of this patience is Jannah. This month teaches the lesson of kindness towards others. In this month, the Rizq (daily bread) of Muslims is increased. In this month, the first ten days are of mercy, second ten days are of forgiveness and the last ten days are of being freed from Hell. The month of Ramadan is a month in which the Mercy and Blessings of Allah Ta'ala descend upon us continuously. Ramadan is the most important month of the year. It is the month that the believers await with eagerness. During Ramadan the believers get busy seeking Allah's mercy, forgiveness, and protection from Hellfire. This is the month for renewing our commitment and re-establishing our relationship with our Creator. It is the spring season for goodness and virtues when righteousness blossoms throughout the Muslim communities. It offers every Muslim an opportunity to strengthen his Iman, purify his heart and soul, and to remove the evil effects of the sins committed by him. Prophet Muhammad, Sall-Allahu alayhi wa sallam. Said, "Anyone who fasts during this month with purity of belief and with expectation of a good reward (from his Creator), will have his previous sins forgiven," "Anyone who stands in prayers during its nights with purity of belief and expectation of a reward, will have his previous sins forgiven." The rewards for good deeds are multiplied manifold during Ramadan.
Qur'an was revealed in this month
Whenever the month of Ramadan approaches, happiness and joy return to the Ummah, because Ramadan brings two of the greatest gifts of Allah, namely the fasting month of Ramadan and the celebration of the revelation of Al Qur'an.
"The month of Ramadan is the month in which the Qur'an was revealed as a guidance for humanity, as a clear proof of that guidance, and as a criterion for distinguishing between right and wrong" (2: 185).
Ramadan was the host month that received final revelation, Al-Qur'an Al-`Azeem. Allah (SWT) conferred this book upon humanity through His Messenger Muhammad bin `Abdullah. According to a Hadith the reading of Al-Qur'an has been mandated by its Author (Allah (SWT)), for the believers all the time, particularly in the month of Ramadan. From the beginning of Islam, Muslims read Al-Qur'an while fasting in the month of Ramadan. By reading the Qur'an the believer cherishes the privilege of directly conversing with the Creator of the Universe. But the Qur'an is also a Huda (a guidance). And as Huda – as true guidance – it teaches us how to live our lives as complete human beings. It teaches us how to live our lives with respect, dignity, honor, and love. It further teaches us that Allah Ta’ala is a divinity that embraces the concerns of all humanity. Ramadan is the month of spiritual excitement in the Muslim world. It is the month of fasting and recitation of the Glorious Qur'an, which was revealed during this month-the month of Tahajjud and Qiyam Al-Lail, Taraweeh prayers, Sadaqah, Zakat-ul-Fitr, Zakat Al-Mal. The spiritual training during the month of Ramadan cannot be complete without a great deal of reading of the Book of Allah. This divine Book deals with the questions of total life: creed, moral instructions, administration of warnings, giving good news, lessons from historical events, interpretation of the material and natural phenomenon, inviting humanity to their Creator, and admonishing the unbelievers. Ramadan affords a believer an opportunity to cross-reference his entire life with the reading of Al-Qur'an; and anyone who observes this practice during Ramadan has a better chance of graduating to a higher spiritual level.
Fasting is a powerful expression of Allah that takes the Muslims to the blessings of His mercy, and a key to uncouple the mysteries of His nearness. Fasting is a discipline that provides direct communication between the believers and the Creator. This is an act of 'Ibadah that develops self-worth, self-strength, self-rebuilding, self-discipline and self-control. The institution of fasting moves the believer from unauthentic to authentic. It enriches the vital needs of human being, both physical and spiritual. Fasting is a characteristic form of worship ('Ibadah) prescribed as part of an overall system of Islam. Fasting directs the fasting person to the art of balancing the spiritual essentials with physical needs. Fasting strengthens the will power that controls our actions. Fasting awakens the mind and stimulates clear thinking and consciousness of Allah. Fasting is the sobering of a mind and reconstruction of our spiritual faculties. Fasting makes the individual ready and prepared to meet the Creator.
To a Muslim, fasting not only means abstaining from food, but also refraining from all vices and evils committed by us consciously or unconsciously. For it is believed that if one volunteers to refrain from lawful foods and sex, they will be in a better position to avoid unlawful things and acts during the rest of the year.
The third pillar of Islam, Zakat, is an opportunity that should not be lost on eligible Zakat payers: to mix Ramadan with mandatory gift giving so as to carry on the commands of Allah (SWT) and to combat greed of an affluent person and to help needy meet his essential needs, and thus build a bond of strong relationship in the Ummah.
HADITH ON RAMADAN
Abu Hurayrah (ra) relates the Messenger of Allah (saws) said when one Ramadan came: "A blessed month has arrived. Observing it in fasting is mandated on you (the believers). During this month, the gates of Paradise will be opened and the gates of Hellfire will be closed. The evil ones (Shayaatin) will be handcuffed. In it there is one night, during which worship is better than worship in a thousand months. Whoever is denied its blessings has been denied the biggest blessing." (Ahmed, Nasaee, and Baihaqi). This hadith emphasizes the importance of being mindful and aware of the rules that govern the 'Ibadah of fasting. For one of the key words in every 'Ibadah is "muwafaqah Ash-Shari'ie," observing in accordance to the commands of the Lawgiver.
THE MERITS OF FASTING
Islam is built on five pillars. Each represents a unique institution through which the believer builds his/her relationship with the Creator and the creation. Of all the pillars of Islam, none is more special than Siyaam or fasting. While there may be an appearance of Riya, or show, in all other pillars such as- Salaat, Zakaat, Hajj, and even the Kalimah - there is no such possibility in fasting. The only One Who knows that you are really abstaining from food and drink is Allah, the Almighty. It is easy to pretend to be fasting; while secretly, you may eat or drink.
It has been reported by the way of Abu Hurayrah (ra) that the Prophet (sas) reported that Allah (SWT) said in a Hadith Al-Qudsi: "All services of the son of Adam are for him except fasting. It is for Me, and I will reward him for it. Fasting is a shield. On the day you fast, do not use obscenity, nor yell at others, nor act ignorantly towards them. However, if anyone abuses you verbally or attempts to draw you to fight with him, say 'I am fasting' two times. The Prophet (sas) then states: I swore by the One (Allah) in Whose Hand is the soul of Muhammad, the breath of the faster is sweeter to Allah on the Day of Judgment than the scent of musk. The fasting person experiences enjoyment twice: he is pleased when he breaks his fast, and he is pleased when he meets his Maker" (Muslim).
Certainly, there is only one reason why a believer will put himself or herself through this ordeal or trying physical exercise and that is to seek the pleasure of Allah (SWT). The fast is the single most important device to test the Iman, or faith, of the believer and the depth of his sincerity and commitment to the concept of Tawheed, the Oneness of Allah.
The hadith also states that fasting is a shield, an armor protecting the believer from sinful acts (ma'asi). When you eat, the blood flow increases considerably, and the energy level increases, making it easier for Satan to use your own energy level to tempt you to commit sins. In another hadith, the Prophet states: "Satan runs in the circulatory system of the son of Adam in the same way blood circulates in our system; so tighten his passages with hunger." (Bukhari/Muslim)
Fasting enables the believer to guard against his archenemy. It also helps him against human evil by putting the patience and perseverance gained from fasting into use with forbearance and forgiveness. Otherwise, in this case, Al-Qur'an allows the believer to repel evil without transgression.
Also it is the month of social activities among Muslims. During the month the entire lifestyle of Muslims undergoes a dramatic change, with the nights wearing a festive look. The whole pattern of private and public life is transformed along with the timings for schools and universities.
The spiritual fervor of Ramadan supersedes all other activities throughout the year. No one can explain the happiness unless he seeks the blessings of this month day and night. For these and many other reasons, the following is recommended for those who wish to benefit from this month. Preparations in this regard should start at least from the month of Rajab, two months in advance. Allah has revealed in Surah Al-Tawbah (Repentance) concerning the four sacred months:
The number of months in the sight of Allah is twelve (in a year); so ordained by Him the day He created the heavens and the earth; of them four are sacred.” (9: 36)
(Zul Qi’dah, Zil Hijjah and Muharram; and then the month of Rajab, which is between Jamada II and Sha‘ban.)
Therefore, it is recommended that Muslims increase their fasting in those months so as to be close to Allah. Moreover, they would be preparing themselves for Ramadan before it comes. Our beloved Prophet (pbuh) used to fast most of the month of Sha’ban. The Prophet said: ‘Many people are unaware of this month's significance; it is between Rajab and Ramadan. In this month the deeds of the people are lifted to the Lord of the Worlds. I like my deeds to be lifted while I am in a state of fasting.”
Ramadan is the month of fasting. As the Qur’an says: ‘0 you who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you as it was a prescribed to those before you that you may (learn) self-restraint (Taqwa).” (2:183)
Taqwa can be realized through three opportunities provided for us by the fast:
The disciplining of the will (tarbiyat ul-Iradah)
The purification of the self (tazkiyat un-Nafs)
The purification of the soul (tasfiyat ur-Ruh)
Allah (SWT) says: " That He wants you to complete the prescribed period (of fasting) so that you are able to magnify the greatness of Allah for His having guided you, and so that – perchance – you may be thankful" (2: 185).
The greatness of Ramadan therefore lies in the opportunity it offers for the development of Taqwa – a virtue that allows us to truly participate in that great cosmic celebration in honor of the revelation of the Qur'an as a Huda to all people, which is, as mentioned earlier, Ramadan itself. Ramadan allows us to magnify Allah Ta’ala as He ought to be magnified, namely, with complete awareness of our earthly duties and spiritual work; and, therefore, to be of those who are truly thankful to Allah. It is a virtue too, which is ultimately celebrated in the Quran itself, for Allah says: " The best of you are those who have learnt Taqwa" (49: 13).
Recommendations to increase the spiritual strength 1
* Try to reduce the number of hours that you watch TV, and instead spend sometime reading Qur’an, Hadith, Sirath, Fiqh, Shariah and any literature about Islam.
* Avoid looking at any unlawful or salacious pictures whether they are from commercial magazines of departmental stores or otherwise.
* Avoid going to theaters. Instead try to go to Masjid, and make it a habit at least once a day.
* Avoid eating in excess, and try to curb your eating habit. Don’t eat unless you are hungry and try not to overload your stomach.
* For those who have the habit of drinking coffee, tea or soda, try your best to reduce their consumption.
* For those given to smoking cigarettes, try to curb this habit before Ramadan.
* Those fond of music, rap-music and songs should reduce the time spent on them. Instead they should recite or listen to the Noble Qur'an.
* For those who enjoy playing cards, cut it out and fill your time with something useful.
* For those who enjoy picnics to enjoy social outings, apply a break on this habit before Ramadan.
* If you have friends who do not practise the teachings of Islam, try your best to avoid socializing with them.
* If you travel quite often for the sake of business, try to do local business so that you will be close to your family and your local community.
*If you are a late night sleeper, go to bed early, so that you will be able to wake up early for Salat Al-Fajr.
*Try to fast Mondays and Thursdays as of today.
* Keep yourself in a state of Wudoo’, most of the time.
* Evaluate yourself daily before going to sleep. Thank Allah for the good deeds you have done, and apologize to Him for the mistake you have made.
* Give yourself the time to isolate yourself for contemplation, remember Allah through Zikr: Tasbeeh (Subhaan Allah), Takbeer (Allahu Akbar), Tahmeed (Al-hamdu Lillah) and Tahleel (La ilaha ill-Allah). You will be elated spiritually and you will enjoy life tremendously.
* Those of you, who can perform Umrah before Ramadan, please do so.
* Start giving charity on a daily basis no matter how little it is.
* Find time to pray the extras, such as Duha Salat, Qiyam Al-Layl and Tahajjud.
* Find time to help others with your wisdom. Knowledge, and other talents.
* Try to educate Muslims and non-Muslims through articles.
* Associate yourself with Muslim scholars, Hafiz, Qari’ and other Ulama so that you will be able to learn from them.
* Train yourself to do good and render services free of charge to others.
*Try to learn how to make Da'wah to non-Muslims. It is an art with knowledge and diplomacy.
To prepare ourselves before Ramadan approaches us is far better than waiting till it comes. To prepare ourselves for anything else in life is a sign of wisdom and maturity. To train ourselves step-by-step is an excellent idea instead of last minute training. Muslims should train and prepare themselves well in advance before Ramadan and Hajj.
THE WISDOM BEHIND FASTING 2
There are reasons and wisdom behind every single act in Islam, no matter how small. It is possible to know the wisdom behind some acts, and for others we may never know. Salaat, for instance, is a daily training for purifying the believer and reminding him or her that he/she is a member in a community of believers. Fasting, on the other hand, is an annual institution containing all conceivable attributes for human excellence. It is a training for the body and soul, a renewal of life, encouraging the spirit of sharing and giving. The following are some of the general benefits:
Self-Restraint (Taqwa)
Allah (SWT) states: "O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you that you may (learn) self restraint." (Al-Qur'an, 2:183)
This verse indicates the first lesson or wisdom to be gained in fasting is Taqwa (self-restraint or the conscious of Allah (SWT)). That is to say, fasting instills in the heart the essence of consciousness of the Creator, moral courage both in secret and manifest, guiding the heart, the seat of emotion from spoilage and moral indecency.
Fasting instills taqwa or conscious of Allah, and does so by controlling two aspects of the human body, which are the root causes of human downfall, namely the stomach and the private parts. The human body is constructed with the need to please the two of them and, in the process, man transgresses the rights of others, fellow human beings, and the commandments of Allah are violated. By Fasting one raises the level of taqwa, thereby the person avoids the sins, which are detrimental to life itself.
Behavior Modification
It is possible for a fasting person to control or changes his or her habits; the reason being human life is an embodiment of acquired habits. To change or control a habit is to wage a war on oneself. If jihad is mandatory on every believer because it is the peak of the essence in Islam, and it entails changing habits, then fasting is the training ground for the inevitable that will occur. The believer cannot wage a war and hope to defeat an enemy if he or she cannot wage a war against his soul. For a fasting person who controls the consumption of food and drink, it will undoubtedly be easy for him to control other habits, including the habits of smoking, drug abuse and illicit sex. If you can control your tongue, hands and all other parts of your body, it will be easy for you to apply the same training for the rest of the year.
Heath Benefits
The benefits of fasting transcend guiding the faster from idle talk and indecent acts. Fasting is a guard against disease, provided the faster follows the strict dietary rule: eating during Iftar (fast breaking) and avoiding over-eating. Allah (SWT) states: "...Eat and drink, but waste not by excess, for Allah loves not wasters." (Al-Qur'an, 7:31).
Some disorders originate from stomach indigestion. This is why the Messenger of Allah (sas) says: "The son of Adam will never fill a container with something worse and evil than his stomach. It will suffice him some morsels (food) that will keep him on his feet, otherwise, he should divide his stomach into three parts: one third for his food, one third for his drink and the other third for his breath." (Ibn Hibban)
The fast helps to correct the problem of obesity and diabetes. Doctors over the years have used fasting as a prescription for certain ailments.Once there was a discussion between Ali Bin Husain bin Waquid (ra) and a Christian physician to the Khalifah, Haroon Ar-Rasheed, about Islam's outlook on the science of medicine and health care. The physician said to Ibn Waquid: "There is not in your Book, Al-Qur'an, anything about medicine. For if Al-Qur'an is a book of science, what about this science? Aren't there two kinds of sciences: the science of the body and the science of the soul?" Ibn Waquid responded: "Allah, the Most High has combined both sciences in half of a verse, when He states: "...Eat and drink but waste not by excess, for Allah loves not the wasters." (Al-Qur'an, 7:31)
The physician said: "Why, then, has nothing been mentioned about medicine from the mouth of your Messenger?" Ibn Waquid replied: "Our Messenger (sas), has combined the sciences about medicine in a few words when he says: "The stomach is the house for disease and prevention is the essence of medicine." The Christian physician then said: "Then your book, Al-Qur'an, and your Prophet Muhammad left nothing about medicine for Jalienas (Galen - a famous physician of the ancients)." (Arkanul Arba`ah by Abul Hasan Nadwi)
An American physician published a report on fasting and its benefits saying: "It is mandatory on every person who is sick to restrain from food certain days in a year whether he be wealthy or poor because if bacteria can find food in abundance in the body, it will grow and multiply. But with fasting it becomes weak.'' He then praised Islam. It should be considered as the wisest religion, because by mandating fasting it has mandated health care. He continued: "Indeed, Muhammad, who brought this religion, was the best physician who succeeded in his teachings, for he called for prevention before ailment, that is apparent in fasting and the nightly prayer (Taraweeh) that Muslims observe after fast breaking every day of Ramadan, for these physical acts contain big benefits in digesting food." (Arkanul Arba`ah by Abul Hasan Nadwi)
Patience
Fasting helps in conditioning the heart, the soul, and the body on the virtues of patience, tenacity, and firmness in the face of adversity. Patience is the pinnacle of self-mastery, discipline and spiritual agility. Patience is to turn the phrase "I can't" into "I can." It is to say, the difficult is easy. It is an inner and psychological demolition of things perceived by others as impossible. Fasting helps in all these shades for the virtuous, patient person because, the conditioning is that if a believer can exercise patience, and forsake gourmet food and drink, and the exhilaration we enjoy while eating or drinking our favorites, as well as marital association, the gratifying of other normal appetites for a whole day, for a month the realization that the barrier between you and food is your consciousness of your Creator, can better make you able to exercise patience in virtually everything in life.
Social Benefits
Socially, fasting is an expression of solidarity with the poor, the family and the whole society. This is a period in which the rich have first-hand experience of what it is to be poor, the pains the indigent suffers in normal living conditions. The process of disciplining resulting from Islamic fasting instills in the rich the virtue of mercy, Rahmah, which is very important in terms of social well - being and proliferation of harmony. Allah bestows His mercy upon those who themselves are merciful to others. "Those who are merciful to others, the Merciful will have mercy upon them," the Messenger said. He continued, "Have mercy upon those on earth, and those in heaven will have mercy upon you." (Abu Dawud/Tirmidhi)
Family Ties
Fasting strengthens family ties, especially in that the family is an endangered institution in western society. It helps the family gather together to break fast, at Iftar, and eat Sahur together at least twice a day for a month. The family even makes Salaat, together with the father as Imam. Fasting enhances and energizes friendship, as Ramadan is known as the month of invitations and visitations. Friends, family members and neighbors extend invitations to each other to come to their homes to have Iftar together. Muslims communities have Iftar in the Masajids. The Messenger said, "When a believer invites you, you should respond." In addition, Muslims get together in the Masajid for Taraweeh and ta' aleem.
REFERENCES
1. Dr. Ahmad H. Sakr (President, Foundation for Islamic Knowledge, P.O. Box 665, Lombard, IL 60148. Fax: 708-627-8894) " Gear Yourself for Ramadan" Islamic Future-Vol. XII, No. 64, p. 3, Dec-Jan 1996/1997.
2. http://www.contactpakistan.com/Communitylibrary/Islam/Ramadan/wisdom.htm
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